The Widow

A mourning young widow sits alone

Ignoring all calls to her phone

She can’t confide

Since her husband died

And she won’t throw the jackals a bone

Her husband had been young, sweet, and rich

Whose ex-wife was a conniving bitch

She held on for years

With wine and fake tears

Then she killed him and dumped him in a ditch

At least the orange jumpsuit made her fat

But the widow wanted her alone with a bat

The ex didn’t care

When the widow screamed “Beware!”

And called her a nasty old rat

The widow is downing some whiskey

In college, it made her feel frisky

Now she just cried

Wished she could hide

She had no idea what to do with his key

The doctors had prescribed her some pills

And said “If you take too many it kills”

But he had her heart

And a head start

So she downed the whole bottle with chills

The Truth

I dream empty dreams

And

Speak empty words

Each thing I

Say is supposed to be

The truth

But

I’m only scratching

At a surface of

Some intangible

Space. I talk and talk

And talk

Each word burning

From my throat. I’m lost

In this wild sea and

Reach for some

Way I can latch onto that

Safe and sure way

But each

Stroke drags me

Deeper to the

Bottom. I’m stuck

Swallowing

The bitter salt. Hoping

For death with no real strength

Everything I’ve ever said

Sounds like the words

Of  a bigger better man

Is this what it means

To belong

To some higher consciousness?

I’m stuck

Scratching

At the posts hoping

For some flash of

Brilliancy beauty truth

Instead I’ve found

Piles of useless shit

Stuck to my heels

Some transcendental

Soul

Has seen and scoffed

At my pitiful attempts

To write some peace into

My life

Streaks

She stands at her window

Staring

At the streets outside

The activity

Hustling, Bustling

They're laughing, playing

Running

She's staring

The streaks on the glass

Are barely noticeable

To the passersby

With their busy lives

But each streak strikes

And she fervently strides

To remove

To watch outside

And dream and wish

But not until 

She can stare without care

They're laughing

She's staring, still caring

Each day is the same

The dust collects

Still she stares

They play

"One day," she says,

"I'll join and play too."

But each time she moves

To put down her rag

She looks and stares

A new streak appears

So

She stands at her window

Staring

At the streets outside

The activity

Hustling, Bustling

The Broken Mirror

It was an accident, I
Swear.
I didn't mean to smash.
But my stare
Scared me. My apologies
Can move mountains but not
You.
Is your humanity aroused?
When you see the drips from my
Clenched fist on your
Floor?
Stop staring, I swear
The mess was never there.
I think I did wish
It was your face.
I wanted the satisfying
Crunch.
Does that make me bad?
You don't hear sorries
So I won't say.
Please stop- I promise
It won't happen again.
Have I broken your
Belief? Your faith?
I guess I have kept
Intact your regret
Of me. I wish
If i can't- I mean-
I mean- If I can't
Break you- That you would
Break something besides me
So that I wouldn't be
Scared by your- by my
Stare.

Untitled Poem.

It’s unsettling,

How you’ve left off haunting my dreams

To visit me in waking hours, too.

How am I supposed to have any

Relief?

You’ve made me frozen,

Dumb but not the mercy

Of numbness. I can feel your nails

Dig and burrow in my skin.

How can I continue to explain

The bruises upon my waking and

The tears on my face

And the screams half stopped in my throat?

People already think

I’m crazy.

You’re just

A dream.

Why can’t I wake up?

If my death is what it takes,

I swear I’m almost there

If that’s your

Intent, then please,

Continue.

Lonely Men

There's something about lonely men

Who stand and wait for the world to start

So they can live. 

It's not anything that you can put your finger on

Watch him smile and laugh 

But his eyes

He leaves with a woman every night

Same, different, they're all the same

Spends his seed but not his soul

There's no soul to spend

Or there is, but it's just locked up tight

He has no key. 

There's something in you that screams

To save that lonely man

Even though you're still the same girl

You can't. He's spent

And you'll be spent too, and just be

Another lonely

Spread the disease

Spread the loss

Spread yourself too thin

Spend yourself in another, find 

A bright flash. For a brief

Dream in another's embrace

There's something about lonely men

Who laugh but make you cry

You want to hold him but

His loneliness will be yours

He is just a mirror.

There's something about lonely men.

On Being Unique

It was the morning
After
That I woke up and realized

I was not
Important.
I knew
Deep in my
Heart that I have no
True defining characteristics
Which set me apart
From the rest. Others have had
My opinions thoughts hopes dreams despairs
Jokes, even looks. I am simply here to fill
An empty space, to warm your bed.
At night while you wait
In breathless anticipation for your
True love. I would scream
And gnash my teeth and pull my hair
But guess what-
It's all been done before.
What use is a scream which sounds
Just like another scream?
If I decided to take my life?
That too is an option chosen by
Too many. No matter where I go
Someone
Has been there before.
The path less traveled? Fuck,
The world is a parking lot.
We all sound and look and breathe
The same
And crave
To be set apart (but not too far)
I think the funniest bit
Of my realization is- it's something
We've all realized before.