The Widow

A mourning young widow sits alone

Ignoring all calls to her phone

She can’t confide

Since her husband died

And she won’t throw the jackals a bone

Her husband had been young, sweet, and rich

Whose ex-wife was a conniving bitch

She held on for years

With wine and fake tears

Then she killed him and dumped him in a ditch

At least the orange jumpsuit made her fat

But the widow wanted her alone with a bat

The ex didn’t care

When the widow screamed “Beware!”

And called her a nasty old rat

The widow is downing some whiskey

In college, it made her feel frisky

Now she just cried

Wished she could hide

She had no idea what to do with his key

The doctors had prescribed her some pills

And said “If you take too many it kills”

But he had her heart

And a head start

So she downed the whole bottle with chills